The topic no one ever gets tired of...I wonder why...

On a piece of post-it pad, I received three questions...questions which most of us neglect to think about...probably because it's no that important or it's not worth our time. Well, I'd gladly free myself from audit work and divulge in my world of perspectives about life. I'd just thought I'd post it in my blog so my readers (if I still have any, after being inactive for sometime) can also read it. Read it if you think the questions are worth your while.


(I've tried as much as I can to be clear and direct to the point, no symbolisms whatsoever, so I do really hope there would be no more misinterpretaions...though I'm still doubtful as the topic pertains to a highly subjective matter.)



1. Please define what true love is

Undefinable
True love is probably one of the hardest things to define. Words aren't really enough to be able to depict how one feels. That is why misinterpretations often arise about what love really is. For me, love is one of those things that can't be taught through words for its meaning is useless unless you were able to experience and feel it.

Nonetheless, here are some of my views regarding true love...


True love does not need any reason
in case you haven't read from http://crazynothingz.blogspot.com/2006/06/rjb07kamdjkoqk81.html, I'd repost it here...


WHY?
You love a person not for beauty because beauty fades
You don't love a person for his personality because he may change
You love a person not for the commonalities because there will still be some disparities
You don't love a person for his brains because memory along with the mind's ability drains
For what reason would you love a person then?
Nothing...you just do....

For me, love is when you have such care for a certain person when it is not supported by any
reasons because for me love does not need any reason. But it's a different matter altogether when you talk about relationships and marriage. Because not all people enter such commitments just because of love.

"Love is what remains when the feeling of being in love is gone"
This is a quote from my guru MasterDeryk :) At first, I could not distinguish one from the other. But after the feeling of being in love has gone, I now know what he means. The feeling of being in love is what most of us go through specially in our youthful years. It's the feeling that most of us hold on to. It's the feeling that gives us euphoria. But maybe, one way of knowing if it's true love is when that feeling of being in love is already gone and yet the same care, understanding, etc. remains.


It gives you directions and visions in life
True love for me is future-oriented. It is about envisioning yourself marrying and building a family with another person rather than dreaming about him/her with you in the movie house. When you love, you start to get motivated and you suddenly know where you want to be in the next few years, what you want to achieve,etc,etc. One of my gurus in life, Mr. Ronquillo mentioned to me that you know it's Christian love when you see yourself bringing the girl to the altar.



It has an extreme acceptance such that there is no pain, no waiting, no suffering, no sacrifices
Pain exists. So is suffering, waiting, and sacrifices. But we don't view it as such so that pain is not pain, waiting is not waiting, suffering is not suffering, and sacrificing is not sacrificing. In case it's hard for you to understand, I'll put it in one plain example. If I love someone, I can decide to sacrifice my freedom, but I won't consider it as a sacrifice because when I love, I'll be more than happy to let go of that freedom. It is not a sacrifice to
be bounded because I will find my joy inside those boundaries.


Him/Her Before Yourself
True love happens when you love someone more than you love yourself. It's about placing someone in your priority list between God and yourself. It's about looking after what he/she wants more than what you want. It's about placing his/her needs before your own. It's about not waiting for anything in return for everything you do for him/her. It's when his/her mere happiness gives you joy even if it means not being with you.


Still, be reminded that this is just my view of true love, which I believe is still a relative
word. I do not know what TRUE LOVE is for my enlightenment is not yet full, and I'm still in the process of learning...



2. How do you know it's really true love

This is a highly subjective question. But for me,I know it's true love if those mentioned above exists. Some peolpe think it's true love at first but after all the hurts and heartbreaks, they'd say they were wrong. They'd say it's not true love after all. For me, you can say it's true love if no amount of pain can take the feeling away. For me, only the person loving can actually know if it's true love, which means that the person being loved may not confirm the truth of his/her partner's feelings. More so can't other people tell.



3. Please give example why you no longer believe in it.

Where did you get the idea that I don't believe in it?

Regarding my text...I said I believe in "love at first sight" but it's not love...maybe you were
not able to get what I mean. I believe in love, and I believe in love at first sight. But love at first sight is not love. Gets? In case not, I'd share something with you. I had experienced the stupid feeling of "love at first sight". It was the first time for us to meet, at the worst state one could meet a special someone. Our eyes met and I knew right at that moment that there's something between us. Days later, I heard the guy likes me. I liked him too. Though I don't know why. My friends hated him. He's got passing grades, he looks like a zombie to them, he's not rich, etc, etc. In other words, I can find no reason why I like him but I like him nonetheless. And it was a mutual feeling. These and more gave me the reason to think, this is not crush, not mere admiration, this is love at first sight. Yes, it was love at first sight (the term people use to refer to that feeling) but it was not love because after awhile, I was able to factor out what I liked about him. And had it not been for that quality, I won't probably even notice him.

Just to share a quote I received the other day

Socrates was once asked,
"What is the cure for love at first sight?"

The philosopher replied,

"Take a closer second look...."

Back to your question....I do believe in love. What I'm doubtful of is whether people follow it.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I was a part of a conversation about a married couple whom I don't even know. One of them commented with a hand signal that symbolizes money. Such is one factor why people enter marriage. A lot of other factors play a part and sadly, only a small percentage of the world's population fight for their belief of true love (and most of that I believe is us, singles) Complicated? Not really....it's all a matter of understanding what true love is and
having an oath to enter commitments where true love exists. If not, then for what reason would I commit myself?


Some people commit themselves just for companionship.
Admit it! Being single gives us such loneliness attached people may never feel. It's about
having someone to go with you when you shop, when you want to see a movie, when you need to visit your grandparents. It's about having someone text you every night and call you every
morning. It's about having someone wait for you after school/office hours and give you a ride
home.


Some people enter relationships out of common interests.
You have the same taste for movies. You have the same hobbies. You play the same sports. You watch the same shows, play the same video games, share the same taste buds for food. It lets you end your day with "Why not spend the rest of your life with this person when you can seem to share everything together?"


Some people say yes just because of attachment or worse, dependence.
A guy has his strengths and a woman her weaknesses. When a guy uses what he has to push a woman up, a woman most often than not will depend on him on such matter for days to come such that she's crippled without him. Daily contact and care blinds a woman such that she will think it's love rather than attachment, love rather than dependence.


Some people marry out of society's demands.
If I would count the number of times people have asked me "May boyfriend ka na?" or a much worse question "Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?", I would probably ran out of fingers and toes. I'm just wondering what if I asked them back "Bakit may girlfriend/boyfriend ka?" Would they really be able to answer me? Will they be shocked by my question because it's a rather unusual question or because this would be the first time they would be thinking about it? Society think singles are "out", probably not sociable enough, not wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend material,etc,etc. It's like being single means carrying a question mark on your back specially when you're at the point when you're not getting any younger...


People enter relationships because of these reasons and many more, not always because of love. We have to face it because it's a fact. The only question now is whether I'll let myself be a part of this population or whether I'll continue to fight for what I believe in...