OJT Part_I

When the days of ACMOD3E was beginning to end, anxiety filled my bones. No, it's not because of the then-upcoming comprehensive exam but because of the approaching trial ahead, a trial of the skills we've learned from books, a trial of application, a trial of hands-on learning. Back when I was still in highschool I would have loved the thought of going to an office and put what I have learned into practice. But now, this on-the-job training does not in any way excite me. The anxiety I've felt can better be termed as nervousness...tension...stress. There was a fear that I will not be able to do what I have been tasked to.

But more than that, there was a feeling of longing. There was this regret that I was not able to treasure the chance of looking at my heaven and would have to bear a month of yearning for my dear someone once more. But then looking at it on the brighter side, I thought....this may actually be a way to finally forget you. With at least 5 people that could diverge my thoughts away from 'you', I could have easily done it.

But then it seemed like there's a powerful force that keeps me away from succesfully pushing through this seemingly simple but really difficult endeavor.

-There are at least 3 places where this certain hangout place/shop is situated. Three places far away from each other yet three places I pass by each day. One is that which I pass by each morning on my way to the office, one so near I am always in reach, and the last could be seen on my way home as I walk towards the MRT. What's with this shop anyway? 'YOUR' NAME...

-As I was vouching at one of the clients, I was surprised! I look at the PN#s, amounts, maturity dates, and of course the NAMES...And out of the billions of surnames that could have been included on the documents that were to be vouched, your Surname appeared. Such an unfamilliar one but there it was....

-And above all these was the reason I actually fell for 'you'...THY FACE, THY MOVES, THY SMILE...And then who would have thought I'd find someone who looks just like 'you' in the office where I work...same market circle, same floor. OK...maybe an older version of 'you'...And it seemed like I'm really being hindered from forgetting 'you' as I even had an encounter with this person.
*'You' both have that same body that make me fall
*'You' both smile the same way too
*And 'your' seats are even situated in the same direction...
...and just like 'you', this person also holds my stare as I look into those eyes...
But I know I can't gaze for too long for i fear that I would once again fall, just as I have for you..