THE DAY BEFORE THE FIRST (4th letter)

Di ko alam kung sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana...
Tingnan mo nga naman ang pagkakataon
Kung kailan pa gusto na kitang kalimutan
Kung saan pa hindi ko inaasahan
Sa oras na hindi ko iisipin
Tsaka pa tayo pagtatgpuin

I told myself to stop writing to you because you may never come across this anyway. But with what happened this day, I can't help myself but write another sequel.

It wasn't even the first day of school but then I went to our beloved university for the same reason as yours. I didn't really expect to see you today. Destiny? Nah..pure coincidence I'd say. But why all these coincidences since before? It occurs to me as if destiny was really bringing me closer and closer to you..I don't know why when we both know I can't have you. Add to these the song that was played while we were on that same place...the very song which i would have loved to sing to you if ever 'we were'. And all the next songs played on the radio while listening to it on my cellphone were those songs I've dreamed of singing to you. But the most surprising thing that's happened today was that after fixing my things, I looked to where you were sitting and to my greatest shock, you were looking right at my direction. Now that's unusual 'coz you have that special someone by your side and I was sitting way far at the back so that you'd really have to turn your head. After having that one-second-glance while you two were still walking down the aisle, I didn't think I'd have the courage to look at you anymore after all I've done. But then you were even the one looking at me (Oh kris wake up!!!) Surely you could be looking at somebody other than me. But then why did you suddenly look away when I saw you facing my direction? Wow...did that hurt me? I don't know...I can't even say exactly what my feelings were during that moment. I don't even know how to react. I was confused.

But what really confused me so is that your special someone always held on to you but you don't seem to reciprocate..Why? Maybe you just don't feel like it. I can't say..

In my last letter I said that seeing you once again is up to God 'coz He knows best. So does this mean it's best for us to still see each other? Can't tell... Maybe He was just testing me..I don't know...

Ha! Indeed, life's full of surprises. We never know...though I doubt it. After all, I believe that what you have right now is the one that's best for you..
But when something happens that says otherwise, maybe we can talk, get to know each other...and Who knows...
But I won't pray for something like that to happen. In fact I'd pray for the best of you both...
In just a few months it would be your anniversary. but I'd pray that you guys go way far beyond that...even until forever.


I just wish you are truly happy in each others arms 'coz your happiness is the only reason why I'm willing to give up and feel all the hurt...