OJT Part_II

Call me CrazY, Call me wEird...
because that's how you'll see me...

When OJT started, every morning seemed a burden as I would have to wake up early each day fearing any consequences for being late in the office. I was not used to moving around that I had to 'carry my feet' when walking. I'm afraid to lay down my head, afraid to talk out loud, afraid to make any move that could distract these serious number-freaks people around me. I thought at first that I'm probably gonna have a hard time working in this auditing firm as I can't stay seriously glued to a computer screen for such a long time. Add to that all the stories of 'aging' and 'no-sleep' and the here and there 'I wanna resign'.

But things change...and I can't tell for what reason but my views have changed as well.I met them, we had some conversation, they tell me more about the world of reality and I relate to them the experiences of a modular student. I walk around hearing the sound of footsteps that my heels create. We exchanged jokes. We wrote the made-up stories that are somewhat based on reality. I do various tasks for various people. I visited other floors. I read pocketbooks as if no one's watching. I photocopy for personal use(forgive me SGV,it's actually partly SGV business anyway). I acted like I was one of them...in a way.

And after all these changes in just three weeks time, I still thought I could easily go away from this firm without any regrets, as if it's not even a part of the listed firms I wish to apply for. But I was wrong. 'round my last week stay, I'm still as excited as before in having my 4 day extra vaccation. But on my last day, I don't know for what reason, but something really enveloped me...something so heavy and dark it almost made me suffocate. I don't know how to call it, I don't know what term to use to refer to it....but the simplest thing that could depict this feeling is SADNESS. It may be an element of missing those people or the experiences or not having to study overnight but all of a sudden it seemed that I would now be willing to sacrifice 4 more hours of sleep, a "life", and youth---that which I really fear losing. But for what exact reason, I can't tell...but surely it's not the person I'm referring to in my previous post. I'm not even sure if it indeed is a person...but there it is...PLAIN AND SIMPLE SADNESS

Call me CrazY, Call me wEird...
because I am...