0.0

Two round circles

With a point in the middle

Written on a piece of paper

With a bright red marker

A simple number

Signifying one's failure

Does it really matter?

I've always believed that grades are just numbers and that it's not enough of a measure of one's abilities. Plus, there are a lot of factors that would affect this seemingly small but considerable outcome. Along the processing stage, various inputs are entered, thus this number is not the output of one's effort and skill alone. Professors, environment, and schedule are just some of the factors that must be considered. Thus, grades must not serve as the only piece of report from which to base one's evaluation.

But then, to have those two big circles appear in your transcript of records is so devastating.

Back then (and maybe up until now), I actually have this thirst for failing. Sounds stupid huh?! But it's true! Well, maybe not as low as a zero point zero! But still you may ask "why?"
I wanted to fail so I could prove to myself that I have my own weaknesses
I wanted to experience what those who get a red mark in their report cards go through so as to show to myself that I am not invincible
I've always felt confident that I can make it through without any effort as I pass subject after subject without much studying
And I know that a simple grade of 75 (or make it 82 for accounting) would hit me right in the face and wake me up from this make-believe

But a "spiderman" passing mark was what I was asking for...I don't expect to get such a slap on my face!!!....

Will I have one soon?
I don't know...But if it's His will, then be it.

And may it serve as a lesson for me...
I am a mortal...
An ordinary student
Someone who gets average grades
But is not free from the possibility of failures