THE YEAR THAT WAS

In just a few moments, we can do nothing but put 2005 in our records of the past.
But I’m certain that memories made will surely last.
And so, here’s a recap of the events that took place (in my life) this year:

Another year has come. A new term is about to start.
New people to meet, new challenges to surpass, and new lessons to learn…
At first, there was anxiety and excitement but as I went on, I became more comfortable with the people around me, made new friends, got used to writing "2005" instead of "2004" and created some memories…

During the month of hearts, people around me seemed to be filled with love. Some friends of mine received a bouquet of flowers and some went out on their usual Valentines Day date. But just like before, there were no candlelight dinner for me, or a dozen rose, or a box of chocolates. Nil! But this year is still something memorable for me. Why? Because we have been serenaded right at the middle of the conservatory. Surely, it wasn’t meant for me but for a lady I just met that term. But still it’s a wonderful memory I’d bring with me, a memory of the friendship I’ve had with TIIS (T.I. I’m Single). It’s also this valentine when a really cute and deep guy made a friendly invite (no malice, he’s taken!) to a mini-concert to be held inside the school…UNFORTUNATELY, I have to turn it down because I had a midterm exam right at that exact time. In addition, apart from receiving the numerous text and greetings of "Happy Valentines" from friends, I also got one from my present crush then. Now, isn’t that a sweep-me-off-my-feet kind of experience?!?!

Nice experience for my valentines but not so much for my summer as my summer this year didn’t feel much like the summers when I was younger, summers spent with my dear neighbors…summers when we’d meet new people, treasure new friends, or merely hang-out with each other playing cards or board games, cycling ‘round the village, doing crazy dares, playing tag or hide-and-seek or merely sharing with each other the current happenings in our lives. Indeed, we have grown up. Truly, we now have different interests and spend our lives in separate paths. But it NEVER occurred to me that this time will come when I’d be spending more time inside my house than I ever did my whole life. And I just feel oh so alone. There were still people in our subdivision of course, even friends and acquaintances I met along the way. But then the place still seemed deserted. And the home I once found outside our house doesn’t seem home to me anymore.

Thanks to my family and relatives that I still had a home to go on to. The yearly summer outing was still held as usual. And so though summer was quite uneventful this year, I still had some fun with it. But the sad part was one family is about to depart and leave our country, which means this might be the last summer outing they’ll be spending with us. But surprises come our way, so we never know…someday, they might be back or we might be there! (I hope! hehe..)

‘Round the middle of the year, a new life was set by God for my one and only sibling. Indeed after tears there is joy and laughter. Yes, my brother has found his better(or should I say best J ) half.
So, sorry to all the other girls out there.

It was also in this time of the year when I told myself to let go of that someone whom I had been clinging to for years, knowing that nothing will really happen and that my waiting is only worthless. And so I focused on my friends and studies. It was this term when I enjoyed modular accounting (Is that possible? Oh, yes it is!) All right, I admit resorting to Old Testament for a particular sub-module but I can assure you that there really was an effort on my part now as compared to the previous module.

Less than 3 months before the end of the term, I saw (couldn’t really say "met") someone new, someone who again I know can never be mine. [read Last Few Days & Last Day ]So after much careful thinking and after relaying it to God during the misa de gallo, I told myself that I had to let go!

I’m still hurting when I had a reunion with my high school friends. And it was then when I realized more the stupidity that I was in. It’s then when I finally saw that we’re about to leave the world of teenagers soon. In a year’s time, all of us will be true ADULTS. And as such, we are about to face far more serious things. It is through their stories that I was able to see what Reality is really all about.

Right before and after Christmas this year, I was crying. Not once in my Christmas eves or morning had I ever cried. But now I had. I can still remember my Christmas last year when I was also in agony because of that ‘previous’ someone. But back then I did not cry…why this time?
Is it because this feeling is something deeper? (though I know it’s REALLY NOT!)
Is it because someone so special to me was missing in our family reunion?
Is it because it’s the very first time I felt the presence of God inside a Catholic Church?
Is it because I have seen how God continues to stand by me amidst all the sins I’m doing?
Or maybe it’s because I just didn’t know how to react to the mixed emotions I’m feeling?
--There’s sadness, there’s joy, there’s guilt, there’s forgiveness, there’s longing, there’s fulfillment and at the same time I have that peace, the kind of peace that the priest talked about, the one that’s not tantamount to having no problems, no conflicts, the peace that you know someone’s inside you working amidst all those things you’re facing, the peace that you have Him in your life—
I don’t know, but I wasn’t able to help my tears from falling.

School this year was tough. Though I enjoyed the second module, I can’t say I made it through easily (duh?! Auditing?!) And so were the two other terms. Combining Incotax and Busitax was a real challenge. In addition, other subjects that were supposed to be minor ones actually seemed to me more as majors! Terror professors and mind-racking quizzes were also met on the way. But what made me go on are the friends by my side, friends whom I know will never leave me behind, friends who gave me memories on ice, movie house, Wackwack, pizza parlor and more. This year, I also worked with some groups, groups that may not have done so well but groups that spent moments with each other, moments that will surely be treasured forever. New people came and went by my life but there were just those friendships made that will certainly (I hope!) last. Furthermore, my learning this year were not just from books or searches on the Internet but from my beloved professors…
Professors whom we nay laugh at or talk about behind their backs
Professors who don’t really teach us our lessons
Professors who don’t even check our attendance
But
Professors who teach us the lessons of life
Professors who bring us closer to reality
Professors who themselves were willing to learn from us

OK, so my 2005 may not be as eventful as yours but still it’s such a blessing that this year’s pain and joy has taught me new lessons, brought me new friends, and left me some simple things to treasure.